As far back as I can remember I hated reading as a child. When I was in grade school I had the worst anxiety when it came to a teacher calling on me to read aloud in front of the class. I was embarrassed because a lot of the times I could not say the big words that were written in the text. I don't know, remember, or if i just blocked out that other kids in my class picked on me because I could not read like them. In addition to being embarrassed to read aloud to the class I was also embarrassed to even go to the library to get a book to read for AR time because I was on a lower reading level that most of my other peers. As kids we want to follow and be like the rest of our peers in order to fit in. At home I continued to have a hard time with having divorced parents doesn't mean that you have someone to read with or to all of the time. My mom did the best she could for me by trying to help me to learn to read I tried hooked on phonics and I had tutors but reading never clicked when I was a kid.
Once I got older I have found out the true reason why I hated reading so much. In my teen I was diagnosed with having Attention Deficit Disorder which would explain a lot of things. I hated reading because I couldn't sit still long enough and I could not concentrate on what I was doing. Knowing now that I have ADD explains a lot of why I literally could not read because I could not stay still long enough to read one page. When it came to spelling I hated it to. I would spell a word perfect but if you asked me a little while later I would not know how to spell that particular word the same goes with knowing definitions. I would sit for hours and cry because I could not spell or define a word.
Even though I didn't like to read there were certain ways and things that I did prefer better when it came to reading that was mentioned in Guided Reading Basics book. If I had to read I preferred to have interactive read-alouds or shared reading. I actually didn't mind when I listen to a book on tape and following along because i absorbed it so much better and stayed engaged in the book. With shared reading it helped me to read without reading to myself, allowed me to see and hear what the word was in the text that i may have not known. As for independent reading, Ha, that was a joke. Independent reading just didn't have happen since I didn't like reading meant that I was not motivated to read if no one was looking. Even if I was in a class during AR time I still didn't read I would still not read I would just stare at the page for however long AR time was.
To this day I believe having a hard time reading makes me motivated to go to school for Elem Edu. I know what it is like to be that kid who doesn't have the confidence or has a hard time with being able to read. With my education experience that I received in Elem School it makes me want to help kids that are like me because i know its hard and can relate to how they feel on the inside. I have felt by many teachers as if I was a complete idiot. Not everyone is a excellent reader or like to read but their is a area somewhere that a student loves to do and compassion for. Everyone is smart but in different areas that others.
